


But it Still Changes

by frariedogs91



Series: tommy coolatta more like tommy cooltrauma [2]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Betrayal, Black Mesa (Half-Life), Black Mesa Sweet Voice, Crying, Gen, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Tommy Coolatta is Not Okay, Trauma, Trust Issues, Whump, and then more hurt, gman is not a good parent, if you have any suggestions put em in the comments, mentions of child abandonment, not in this one at least- sorry kids!, not sure what else to tag this so, please and thanks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:54:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28085757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frariedogs91/pseuds/frariedogs91
Summary: He'll keep it that way. No matter what.Or so he thought.
Relationships: Benrey & Tommy Coolatta
Series: tommy coolatta more like tommy cooltrauma [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2057538
Kudos: 14





	But it Still Changes

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is best read if you read the first part in the series!

He was wandering the labyrinth that identifies itself as Black Mesa when he found Tommy.

Curled into himself in a room far away from the rest of the science team, his best friend choked on his own silent cries.

Oh, shit.

Benrey knocks on the doorframe, once, and Tommy’s head snaps up. He looks distraught- horrified, even. But only for a moment. His face clears up like he hadn’t been near crying just a moment before, and he rests his head on his knees.

“Hey, Benrey.”

Benrey shuffles over and settles down next to Tommy. They share a look.

The following conversation between the two is wordless. Sweet voice fills the air, and Tommy relaxes, if only minutely.

The sweet voice reads,

_Pale yellow to a strong blue means ‘I’m still here for you.’_

And for that still moment between them, everything feels okay again.

Benrey knows it won’t last for long.

_Gordon walks into the room first._

_He doesn’t come out the same._

_Nobody does._

He’s alone again.

God, he’s such a fool.

Why is it that everybody he decides to trust turns around like this?

No matter what, any sort of relationship just falls apart in his hands. Grains of broken love, whatever sort it may be, falling between his fingers like sand.

He doesn’t know if he can take another hit.

Today- yesterday?- there was Benrey, who sold them out. Bubby, who held Tommy back. Coomer, who stood and watched. 

And in the beginning, there was his _father_ , who gave him a name and then left him in the halls of his employer’s pet project at the ripe age of seven just so he could go through the American adoption system one more time.

It’s always been the same. Always one more time. One more time he’ll let himself be heard, one more time he’ll let himself be held, one more time he’ll feel his heart be chipped, again and again. One more time he’ll find himself alone and on his knees in a place that’s never really felt like home.

It’s only been his life for how many years?

He’s so pathetic.

He looks around, trying to ground himself once again. The room he’s in has concrete walls and a man-sized pipe coming out of one wall. To his left is a large container full of some sort of toxic waste. Seems like his cry session isn’t even OSHA approved. What a punchline.

As his brain starts twisting his personal story into an edgy joke, he looks back on the past few days, lost in his head once more, and he cries.

Gordon finds him collapsed on the cold floor, sobbing.

_He’s alive._

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact! the outline of this story was "(benrey find tommy when tommy sad one day. Benny help. benby still plans on evil, but gravely. when ben commits betrayal, everything hurts much, much more. gordon finds tommy sobbing.)"
> 
> i didn't get as into some things as i wanted to cause I couldn't really get them to fit (tommy dysphoria moments because its my fic i give the potions of trans your gender, benrey's thoughts on certain upcoming events when he was comforting tommy, more betrayal whump, some gordon stuff) but overall i'm pretty chill w/ how this turned out! again, if y'all have any tag suggestions, put them in the comments pls! attention and correction fuels me!
> 
> tumblr @skelldum (main @rooftops-are-for-towels)  
> insta @skelldedum


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